Weeding out the negative people in our lives is vitally important for our growth as individuals, and for our overall mental health. Why? Well, read on and we’ll explain.
Negative people can be toxic to our well-being. They can drain our energy, make us feel less confident, and sabotage our happiness. If you have negative people in your life, it’s important to learn how to weed them out so they can no longer affect you.
Firstly, Identify The Negative People In Your life
Take a close (long, hard) look at the people you spend most time with. Is there someone who consistently brings you down or makes you feel bad about yourself? Or perhaps there are constant moaners, or those who always have a negative attitude? These people aren’t good for you.
Start Setting Boundaries
When you’ve identified the negative ones, you need to start setting some boundaries. This means limiting the amount of time you spend with them and not letting them get to you. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but you can do it gently over a period of time. This means that, at first, they probably won’t realise you’re even limiting your time with them.
Next, Start Cutting Ties
If these negative people are causing you significant emotional distress, you may need to cut ties with them altogether. This can be extremely difficult. But it’s important to remember that you don’t have to put up with toxic people in your life.
But what if they’re your family? This is a difficult area to navigate, but it’s essential that you at least reduce the amount of time you’re with them. If you still live with them, you could start by simply spending more time in your room. Or you could meet up with friends outside of the home more often. If you don’t live together but you’re expected to visit them at certain times, you will need to start breaking this cycle.
We won’t deny that this is going to be hard and you’ll probably find they use emotional blackmail of some sort to make you feel bad. Try not to fall for it. Gently explain that you need to be elsewhere for whatever reason, and that you’ll see them another day. Then try to eek out the time between visits, until you get to a point where you’re strong enough to just say no.
What If That Negative Person Is A Work Colleague, Or Even Worse, Your Boss?
We’ve both been in this situation – you’ll probably find that half of the population has at some point. With colleagues, if they’re part of your immediate team and you have to work closely with them, you need to take action. Providing you’re up to it, take them to one side and try and discuss the situation. If you’re not, speak to someone else, such as your boss or another colleague. Should that not work, go to your HR department.
If it’s your boss, the situation is much harder. Speaking from personal experience, all I can say is there’s not a lot you can do except grin and bear it. But having said that, if you’re being bullied by them, it’s a different story. Speak to someone in confidence, preferably from your HR department if you have one, and make sure that events are recorded.
Ultimately, the best outcome would be one of you leaving the company, so if that’s the best thing for you, then do it. Don’t stick it out for years on end and let it affect your mental health (as I did) because you deserve better – and you deserve to be treated properly.
To Summarise
Weeding out negative people from our lives can be difficult, but it’s worth it for our own well-being. By setting boundaries and cutting ties with toxic people, we can create a happier and healthier life for ourselves.
Recommended reading: The Art of Saying No (affiliate link but currently free on Audible & Kindle Unlimited – refer to our disclaimers for more information on our use of affiliate links).
